Hope is believing that there is always light ahead despite the darkness that surrounds you. Hope is having faith and trust in the unknown. Hope is the voice in your ear that whispers give it another shot, pick yourself up and keep going. If you live without hope you’re not really living at all.
So to my future self, there are a few things I hope for you.
I hope that when you look back and read this in 6 months, a year or 5 years that you have found the love and peace within yourself that you try hard to hold onto without him. I hope you have learned to love yourself the way he loved you.
I hope you have reached or are on the right path to making your dreams a reality. If not, what went wrong? I hope you didn’t give up, he would be disappointed if you did. I hope that you achieved the goals that I set for us, even if just the small ones.
I hope you have found a genuine happiness within yourself, and no longer wear fake smiles. I hope you have stopped chasing distractions and running from your fears. I hope you’re no longer as guarded and stubborn and that you have finally allowed your true friends in.
When you read this, I hope you are able to look back and see how far you have travelled.
How far you’ve come from the day that you thought you wouldn’t find strength to see tomorrow. Just look at all the yesterdays that were once the tomorrows that you worried about. I hope you are proud of yourself.
I hope you have found freedom from your thoughts, a moment’s peace in the chaos that is your heart controlling your head.
I hope you found courage to let go of the pain. I hope you still have no regrets. I hope you have stopped being afraid of the future and your able to face it without fear of unknown emotions. And if you haven’t, I hope that when you read this you will see that it wasn’t so scary after all.
Nothing you hope for is guaranteed, but its hope that will keep you going. A hope that our life will be brighter than the days and months that have passed. Hope that our hope, is stronger than our fears.
I hope you have accepted that no one can save you, and that you are your own hero.
Did you take the well-deserved soul feeding vacation?
Did you dive under water just to see how long you could hold your breath?
Have you helped yourself as much as you help everyone around you?
Have you learned to put yourself first?
Have you reached the level of independence you were striving for?
Do you love yourself as much as you love him?
Are you living or existing?
Are you pushing yourself past your comfort zones?
It’s ok if you haven’t reached the point where I hope you to be, just never lose hope that you can.