Remember Her Smile,

I learned this morning that a good friend of Johns passed away this week, in the same way that he passed. Her passing is all too familiar and stirs up so many emotions. Following the shock I was overwhelmed with sadness for her and her family, the future they no longer have and that she no longer has. Grief consumes and there are no words to ease the pain her family are feeling. The time I had spent with her was brief, but I felt close to her because she was close to John. She grieved with me and supported me. She grieved for the love of my life and her dear friend. Now I grieve for her.

Similar to the emotions I felt during the early stages of my grief, I can’t get her smile to leave my mind. I remember laughing with her and sharing stories of our families together. She was so enthusiastic and bubbly, childlike and upbeat, and from the first day that I met her she greeted me with a smile and a hug. I can vividly see her baking cupcakes in our kitchen and lying on the floor in the lounge room writing letters to her friends, with a smile so wide. And as though it were yesterday I remember the last conversation we had. She showed me nothing but love, gratitude, humour, kindness and her huge vibrant personality.

She wrote to me when John passed away and the sum of her words were “You suffer everyday through unbearably difficult life situations, you muster the strength inside to still breathe the air this world offers when the love of your life, your childhood sweet heart has been snatched away. So wrongly robbed of being able to breathe. This painful and empty space that remains, who only our beautiful John can fulfil. My heart cries for you sweet heart” K.H.

And now my heart cries for you and your family beautiful girl. I hope you find peace, I hope you feel free. I know where ever you are that your gorgeous smile would be beaming across your face. You are loved and dearly missed and this void in the hearts of your family will never be filled.

“If you love something, love it completely, cherish it, say it, but most importantly, show it. Life is finite and fragile and just because something is there for one day, it might not be the next. Never take that for granted. Say what you need to say, then say a little more. Say too much, show too much, love too much. Everything is temporary but love. Love outlives us all.”   

Life is far to swift and can be so cruel. All we can do is remember the moments her life gave us. And use our lives to live in future moments, appreciating every breath we are blessed to take. Sending out all my love and strength to her family. I am so very sorry for your loss. With a heavy heart, love and condolences, Kaiti xox

This is for you princess, fly high.

Song – Dancing in the sky – Dani and Lizzy

Tell me, what does it look like in heaven? Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say? Does the sun shine bright forever? Have your fears and your pain gone away?

Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness

Oh-oh, I, I hope you’re dancing in the sky I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir I hope the angels know what they have I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived

So tell me, what do you do up in heaven? Are your days filled with love and light? Is there music? Is there art and invention? Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?

Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left And here…

Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness

Oh-oh, I, I hope you’re dancing in the sky And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir And I hope the angels know what they have I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived

I hope you’re dancing in the sky And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir And I hope the angels know what they have I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived Since you arrived

 

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