When You Want To Give Up – DONT

You don’t just give up when it gets hard, thats when you fight harder!

It makes me sad to see a lot of my friends struggling through difficult times. Friends who have been my back bone since December. Friends who have lifted my spirits without me having to ask and some friends who don’t even realise how much they have helped me.

Their problems range from large to small. Relationship problems, dependencies, finances, mental illness and everyday life issues in general.

For this reason my blog this week is devoted to them and their struggles. When you have experienced great loss you’re given the ability to see what truly matters. You feel everything deeper than you did before, you have a totally new perspective on life and you give your strength because you know what it is to feel weak.

I’ve heard many times that life is a lesson, we learn and grow from every experience. In my opinion grief is the hardest lesson a person can be given. I could have easily given up and some days I want to, but I continuously choose to fight for my life. In the beginning I fought because John would have wanted me to. I did it for him, now I do it for my children and I am fighting for the day that I can fight for myself.

It is never too late to start living. Each day that you’re blessed to wake up is the first day of the rest of your life. Appreciate that and ask yourself what really matters?

Yesterday has gone and it will never be forgotten. If you weren’t happy with your life yesterday do something today that’s different, don’t stay stuck. Place one foot in front of the other in a new direction. Take a step back from the chaos around you and look at yourself, look at what is important. You are important.

Almost every joyful moment and every dark moment in life stems from how you feel, about yourself. Really think about that.

Realise you are the most valuable part of your life, put every ounce of strength you have into improving yourself. Only after you’ve felt lost, broken and alone will you begin to find yourself. Know who you are, love yourself, don’t lose yourself.

When John was alive he made me feel like a queen, he built me up every day in the way he loved me. I use to say he showed me my worth. I held onto the strength he gave me as a person after he passed away but in time, without his reassurances, self-doubt surfaced and I realised I have no idea who I am without him. Only now, only after being left to face my fears alone have I began to see myself the way he saw me. I ache for him and the love he gave me but I know I am capable of giving that same love and respect to myself.

How would you answer this question? If you were to die today would you have regrets?

I can say no I wouldn’t. Because I know what matters and as long as I don’t give up on what matters, as long as I continue to try I will always remain one step ahead of my self-doubt.

I recently read an article “Life lessons advice from an 80 year old man” (advice listed below) which gave me and idea to write a list based on my experiences. I urge everyone to write their own list, you might surprise yourself.

Here is mine so far:

  1. There are few problems in life that can’t be solved and even fewer problems that really matter.
  2. Learning about yourself should be the first and most important thing you do in life.
  3. Be kind ALWAYS even if others are not kind to you, be the bigger person.
  4. Give even when you have nothing.
  5. Build the people around you up and you will build yourself up at the same time.
  6. Love like you have never been hurt.
  7. Strive to stay present in every moment.
  8. You can’t change or forget the past but you can make tomorrow better.
  9. Smile at someone who frowns at you.
  10. Stay positive and be grateful.

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